Imperfect Being

I've suddenly come to the realization that I
cannot be all the me I wish to see--
The me I hope and long for,
the me I project.

My "me" can't encompass you and how you
feel about my being.
It can't overcome your judgements of me,
just be-ing.

No--I'm imperfect, lost and broken.
Scared of being left alone,
Anxious about something I can't explain,
Afraid I won't make it in the world.
Stifiling everything around me with self-doubt.

A beautiful disaster is what I am--
A hot mess with plenty to fix.
Plenty to munch on, to dwell on
or
to move forward from.

I've fallen out of love with my perfect reflection
and see only what's left in the real--
Me.

An Imperfect Being, imperfectly be-ing;
And maybe, just maybe,
That ain't so bad after all.